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Ensuring you’re the only one: Tips on keeping your marriage monogamous

Aug 13, 2012, 9:05 a.m.

Statistics tell us that the majority of men and women remain faithful during their marriages. Still, that's no excuse to take your life partner for granted and assume that he or she will always remain true. If you really want to make sure you're the only one -- and likewise, that you stay loyal to your vows -- you've got to work at it. The best way to do that is to learn a few tricks to teach you how to stay in a monogamous marriage. Here's a rundown of some of five of the most effective tips.

  1. Defining infidelity is one of the simplest and most impactful tips for a monogamous marriage. It requires you to communicate to your spouse exactly how an affair would change your relationship and how it would affect you emotionally. Although it's no excuse, the simple fact is that some people cheat because they aren't aware of how badly it would hurt their spouses. If both parties make this clear, this knowledge can be enough to deter a partner from straying.
  2. Having an active sex life with your spouse is critical. While infidelity isn't always about finding sexual fulfillment elsewhere, it does play a huge part -- and anyone who wants to know how to stay in a monogamous marriage has to recognize that failing to maintain an active and exciting sex life with their spouse is tantamount to inviting trouble. Don't let this happen. If you feel your sex life is dull, talk it over with your spouse. The worst thing you can do is to ignore it.
  3. Keep yourself looking good. Focus on your physical appearance. You don't have to have plastic surgery to get rid of those charming smile lines or buy a toupee to cover up that bald spot, but it is important not to let yourself go to heck simply because you're not "on the market" trying to impress others. Keeping your marriage healthy and monogamous requires you to stay attractive in the eyes of your spouse. This doesn't mean traveling back in time to the age of 29, but it does mean taking pride in your appearance.
  4. Another of the most effective tips for a monogamous marriage is so obvious that a lot of people overlook it. Simply put, you have to extricate yourself from situations that will bring on the temptation to cheat. If this means changing your daily coffee routine so that you don't continuously run into that overly-flirtatious barista, or breaking off ties with an old flame you've reconnected with through Facebook, then so be it.
  5. Few marriages ever remain monogamous if the couples don't spend plenty of quality time together. Sometimes, this can be difficult, especially if you're married to someone with whom you share little in common as far as interests and hobbies go. But if this is the case, there are things you can do about that. Try and discover new interests together that will bring you closer together. Or simply make time in your respective schedules to simply be together, even if you're not doing anything but cozying up on the couch. Strengthening the bonds of closeness is a vital exercise that will help strengthen your relationship.

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