By Judy Bluhm
Mental fatigue. Post-election hangovers. So much to contemplate. Winners and losers. Time to reflect and take it all in. And remove all of those campaign signs from every street corner! We need a rest from all the political ads. Let’s give ourselves a timeout.
Did you know that a snail can sleep for three years? A reader emailed me a list of trivia and now my mind is spinning with all kinds of irrelevant facts. How can I concentrate on important news and election outcomes, when I have just learned that all polar bears are left-handed? And why is it that no piece of paper (including this esteemed newspaper) can be folded more than seven times?
The orderly rhyme and reason of life is being challenged by little obscure facts that only create more questions. For instance, why can’t crocodiles stick out their tongues? And how is it that butterflies smell with their feet? I might be able to grasp why elephants are the only animals that cannot jump, but I’ll never figure out just who is conducting all these weird experiments.
I’d love to visit those laboratories with white-coated scientists setting up for their next earth-shattering discovery. It had to be a champagne-popping moment when they determined that if a Barbie doll were life-size, her measurements would be 59-18-33 and she would stand 7 feet, 2 inches tall. Who pays for such breakthroughs? Could this be the “pork” in government funding? Not that some facts aren’t useful. I do appreciate knowing that a person burns more calories sleeping than by watching television.
Some facts are simply scary. Look closely at your eyes in the mirror. They are the same size since birth. Now check out your nose and ears — they never stop growing! This is too shocking for words. It also seems that most people fear spiders more than death! And speaking of death, more people die from falling off donkeys than in plane crashes annually.
Perhaps the problem with our new “expanded knowledge base” is that most adults have too many tidbits of information to process in any given day. We’re like a computer with circuits jammed; an email file that is too full; a glass of water spilling over. Stop — I can’t know one more thing! Now that I realize that women blink twice as much as men, I’ve been noticing this lately. I also am not sure what to do with the new and gross knowledge that most dust particles in our homes are made up of dead skin! Yikes!
Oh, I do have something very important for you to ponder. Did you know that it is physically impossible to lick your own elbow? Try it . . . evidently a team of researchers found out that ninety percent of folks who read this “fact” end up trying to lick their elbows. Mission impossible? Good luck and let me know if you have success! So, until next week, enjoy the weird facts, forget about troubling news, and anticipate the approach of holidays. Good news is coming.
Judy Bluhm is a writer and a local Realtor. Have a comment or a story? Email her at email@example.com.