Ask Gabby Gayle: Problems at care facility should be reported

By Gayle Lagman-Creswick

Dear Gabby Gayle:

My mother is in a care facility. They have new owners or managers and things seem to be very disorganized. They are losing Mom’s clothes, they ran out of one of her medicines, and the help seems a bit confused as to their duties. I’m afraid to complain because then they may be resentful to Mom. What are your suggestions?

Signed, BW

Dear BW:

Oftentimes when there is a change in management of a care facility, things may get a bit hectic for all concerned. However, you still need to complain. How are they going to know there is a problem if clients don’t complain? I suggest a sit-down meeting first with the director of nursing. Present your problem in a professional way, not attacking her. She should tell you what she intends to do about it. You should tell her that you would like to solve the problem without going to the State Department of Health. If you do not see an improvement, feel free to call the State. They should have their number posted in a prominent place. Even the best facilities have challenges. The important thing is, what are they doing about problems when they are reported to them?

You need to advocate for yourselves and your loved ones.

Good Luck, G.G.

Dear Gabby Gayle:

You have probably heard this before, but I simply cannot understand why some of my grandchildren want to pierce themselves with tongue, lip, nose, extra ear piercings, etc. Oh yes, and tattoos! When I ask them why they do that, they say, “Oh Grandma, this is just what we do.” It doesn’t make any sense to me, and it doesn’t enhance their looks. Plus, when they grow old like me and no longer want those piercings and tattoos, they will have these holes all over, and I shudder to think how those tattoos will look when they are all wrinkled! Help me understand, please.

Signed, No Tattoos

Dear No Tattoos:

I don’t know if we can ever like some of the things our kids and grandchildren do. I choose to accept them, because I know every generation has their “thing.” This too shall pass! I’m almost certain parents and grandparents of flappers, and then of mini-skirt wearers, felt just as you do. When I was in high school, the big thing was dyeing a strip of your hair white. My daughter wanted to dye her hair purple. I said to her that if she died her hair purple, I would dye mine purple to match hers. I never heard another word about it. Remember, acceptance is the better part of loving.


Dear Gabby Gayle:

I have been chatting with a guy on a dating site for about three weeks. We have shared our life histories with each other, and I feel like I know him pretty well. Yesterday I suggested we meet for coffee. He said he didn’t feel like he knows me well enough to meet yet. Is this typical? I really don’t know what else to tell him about me. What do you think?

Signed, Wondering

Dear Wondering:

I can think of a few reasons he may not want to have coffee with you: First, maybe he knows enough about you, and he has decided you are not a good match and thinks coffee would be a waste of time. Second, maybe he is shy and has never dated before and has “cold feet.” Lastly, and more likely, he is not who he says he is. He may say he lives in your town but actually lives in Russia or some other country. Or maybe he doesn’t look a thing like his photo, and then you would find out. When I have chatted a little and the person doesn’t want to meet, I delete them from my list!

There are so many romantic scams out there that one has to be on the lookout all the time. I personally am not much of a chatter on the dating site. I need to see a person and I can tell so much about them in person. I say, no coffee, no more chat!